Nordstrom jeans caked in fake mud to make you appear you’re a man

Nordstrom is selling “Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans” which are covered in fake mud. This fine item can be purchased for a mere $425.

This product makes me profoundly sad. The snowflake generation will likely find value in jeans that provide the illusion that they’re not all pussies and have some idea of what hard work is.

This gives me the idea of taking my old clothes and selling them at premium prices, but as I think through this, it likely wouldn’t work. I work hard, I run hard, I climb things, I get actual dirt on myself…you see, I’m a real man and don’t have to buy fake dirt to prove it. Therefore, I’m guessing the crotch in my jeans is likely stretched a bit too much for any of the idiots that feel like buying jeans covered in fake fucking mud.

“I’m Don “The Goods” Ready. Everyone here told you their story, here’s mine… I have hair on my balls and I sell cars. The end.” Don Ready, The Goods (2009)

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